On Feminist theories, poverty and the cat

I have come up with a theory that Donald Trump’s porcine narcissism engulfs America to the extent that the world over now feels the necessity to out all of the other narcissistic piggies because they can’t do anything about that one great big old mega pig. As I write this I know I am doing it in full acknowledgement of the fact that this is very much not in the vein of what this site is supposed to be about.

I am now supposed to be a fashion blogger or a tourism blogger or a pin up blogger. I couldn’t be a sex blogger because I’ve got way too much fucking trauma there and haven’t actually been with anyone in several years now (how pathetic). I have hoards of lingerie and I suppose that is how I express my sexuality but the only person that ever sees it is the cat.

I can’t find words to express what it has been like to see these motherfuckers like the Weinstiens, Matt Laurer, Bill O’Reilly, Jian Ghomeshi and the growing list of assholes being thrown onto the pyre of wasted careers and non-apologies and sorry-not sorrys because their fundamental lack of empathies has led them to believe that they were entitled to do everything they did to those women because it was a reward for success and power.

That’s right! We as women are what hangs off their arms to these types when they are making the millions. We are a bench mark, a commodity, a prize! Never, not for one second have these men thought of us as other people on the same level as themselves because there came a point in their lives where they just decided that the rules were different for them. They were the exception.  They could treat us like shit and it was OK.

The weird thing was that it was OK.

I can not think of a single fucking job that I have ever had in this lifetime where I was not sexually harassed. Where my ass was grabbed by my bosses… sure sometimes I worked in bars but that was no excuse. I worked at newspapers and it was the same thing (mind you there was heavier drinking & drugging going on at the magazines than the bars).

I worked in shops as a teen and was even sexually harassed in public when I was as young as 10 or 11 because I developed early and basically looked the same from the time I was 11-35.  Sexual harassment has always been part of my existence and just something I would just try and tune out. I didn’t know how to deal with it, I still don’t know how to deal with it now. What remains constant is that I was poor then and now I am poor with two small children and can’t afford to lose any paying gig I have.

I have had an abysmal amount of people tell me that if you don’t like your situation, just change it! The giant bitch about that is when you have two kids, massive amount of debt from previous attempts at changing your life and it not working, two little kids you need to remain constant, sober and present for and have a an apartment, food for them, clothes and diapers, you just can’t change up shit in a whirlwind. I kind of have no back up.

In today’s photos I am wearing an incredible coat by xiaolizi that I got off etsy and some delightful poinsettia hair clips that I made myself as I thought about making hair flowers to sell online for about like 5 seconds before I realized that nobody was interested.

So, if anyone has any new job ideas for me, please let me know. I love this whole pin up thing but for the better shoots I always end up paying for the photos. This whole modeling/fashion blogging thing has somewhat gone to shit.

And, as for all those scumbags who lost their multi-million dollar jobs for violating women. I hope you all learn how to pray. You are going to need to.

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